Speaker 1: 0:20

All right guys, welcome back. Thank you for joining us today. I have a special guest, as I always like to say, but this guy's even more special because he is my best friend, my videographer and my partner in crime, and he's going to ask me a handful of questions today which are going to be really close, near dear in my heart, and I'm going to share a little bit about myself to you guys today, and this was something that Joe has been begging me to do for months and months, if not years and years. So we're going to chip away at some podcasts about certain situations and circumstances I've been in over my life, and I really hope that the idea is to encourage others to keep going when things are hard.

Speaker 1: 0:57

I'm still growing. I'm only 40 years old, so I know I have a whole nother life in front of me, but at a young age I like to consider myself young at 40. I have been through a lot and I'm just going to share a couple of situations with you and kind of the takeaway for that. So, joe, thank you for joining today and I am actually looking forward to your questions, because I really don't know that much about which direction you're going to go, so you're going to keep me humble and on my toes, so I really appreciate you being here, buddy.

Speaker 2: 1:32

Yes, thank you, and it my toes, so I really appreciate you being here, buddy. Yes, thank you, and it's always nice to not necessarily be behind the camera. Um, and like ryan said, I, I think my role in this company and with paradigm and a part of ryan's life is honestly something that weighs a lot of stress that most people do not understand and with that stress, I I'm able to articulate Ryan's emotions and understand the inner depths of, not only as a business development aspect, but on a personal level, to understand where our founder and chairman actually is throughout the day. Because, if you guys can only imagine, this guy's phone is on work mode, or do not disturb for a reason because his phone is on work mode, or do not disturb for a reason because his phone never ends. And I've said this before in a podcast where, when Ryan calls me, you have to answer If you want to level up, you want to succeed, work your way up to this company at the top. And the reason being is because this guy's mind never stops running, and I just shared with him the other day that, like in three days I slept four hours, probably because now my mind is like it and I'm becoming more and more like him and I'm 10 years behind.

Speaker 2: 2:35

So, with that being said, like he said, I want to make sure the audience on the podcast is able to understand a deeper dive into the mind of Ryan Garland, because a lot of people just see the fluff. They look at the cars, they look at the development, they look at when Ryan's going here, going there, but they don't really understand where all this has actually transpired from. And so what? I kind of want to start with some people, especially if you're an investor or a close friend of Ryan's, you do know this story. But, as we all know, 08, 09, the market crash. A lot of people went through hard times, but within that time, ryan also was in an accident and one of his best friends was dying in his arms. So I really for me hearing that story over and over again. It makes me understand Ryan more, and I'd like Ryan to really share this as a part of why he's came across so many obstacles and made him the man he is today.

Speaker 1: 3:39

Oh, thank you, man. All right, so let's start off. Where do you want to?

Speaker 2: 3:42

go. Let's start off. Where do you want to go? So explain what you were feeling in that moment when the accident happened and then tie into that moment years later to now. How does that affect your decision making?

Speaker 1: 3:59

you know. So it's really kind of ironic.

Speaker 1: 4:01

You want to bring that up first because you're my best friend and uh so at that time, my best friend it was really the, I mean it was I think I was just thinking about this the other day. I haven't had the opportunity to sit back and really think about it, because my life has been going 100 miles an hour since then and it kind of never has stopped. And I think, ironically ironically you bring this up because the other day I actually thought about it and I had more memory of that night, uh, than I think I ever had since the 08, you know um, I feel like I kind of blocked a lot of that emotion out because it was just so painful and and what's wild is that when I was remembering more about it, I, um, it, I felt more connected to, uh, my loved ones at that moment and I think I think it just kind of made me humble and it made me realize and be kind of count my blessings more than anything, cause I'm always focused on work and moving forward. I never look in the rear view mirror, I'm always moving forward. I'm going a hundred miles an hour. What's going on next day, you know, trying to chase the time to get to bed and take, you know just the whole thing that goes with life, but when that? So, ultimately, what happened?

Speaker 1: 5:14

And I'll give a whole story here but, uh, there was a car accident that took place and I watched my buddy behind me wrap a car around a pole and uh, and actually two of my closest friends were in that car and uh, chris, one of my friends, that was the driver, he, uh, he was okay because the car wrapped around a pole on the passenger side and it was on an embankment. So what happened was, is the, the front headlights were pretty much pointing in the air. Mind you, this is at 12 o'clock at night, not a lot of people around, and uh, and so when I, when, uh kind of turn, I had to turn around and go around a medium and come back around, uh kind of do a big U-turn. And when I was able to get there, uh, ironically will, which was the passenger that was the most hurt. Uh, I went to paramount or, uh, uh, emt school.

Speaker 1: 6:00

We did a bullet program together, uh, up in San Jose and um, what was happening was, as I came down the embankment, I opened up the driver's door. I could see Chris is okay, but he was kind of parked back, so he had a GTI at the time. And what GTIs do when you get in an accident with the front end, your actual seats drop down and they slide back because they had problems a long time ago from the motors falling on your legs. So what they do is they engineered the seats to drop back and fall and slide backwards. So it's very impressive and I'm glad it did, because that front of that actually did shift, even though it hit sideways. This is crazy how violent this accident ultimately was.

Speaker 1: 6:40

So when I was I, when I was able to open up the driver's side door clearly these things wrapped around a pole I came around the kind of in the embankment I was. I opened up the driver's side door clearly, these things wrapped around a pole. I came around kind of in the embankment, I opened up the driver's side door and so kind of picture a car where it's maybe 10 feet above me and I'm kind of having to open up the door above my head and then so when I open up the door, it swings open kind of on the bottom because the car is kind of on its side right. It's probably on like a 45 degree side, wow, and so I could see that Chris is on the way I'm eye to eye with Chris. And then Will was leaning over his seatbelt and I'm talking to Will, I'm trying to get his attention, see if he's going to respond. Chris was responding, but very lightly and when I was looking I started to look at Will and I could see his neck is starting to get thicker and thicker and thicker. He's having a hard time breathing and now it's becoming more vocal that he's having a hard time breathing but he's not conscious, he's just moaning. Really bad, he's in a lot of pain. And so I started looking around. I see his leg is completely sideways and around. I mean it's just bad. So I ended up I told him to go grab my knife so I can cut the seatbelt, because Will was leaning over the seatbelt and couldn't breathe Because, again, he's in the passenger side so he's leaning over the driver ultimately. So when I cut the seatbelt I ended up grabbing his waist and his chest to kind of turn him. So now his back is ultimately against the armrest in the center so he can kind of expand his lungs and breathe, because I can tell he's got he's now. I can hear him gargle, so therefore he's got now liquid going on down in there. So when I was able to turn him sideways, he started breathing a little bit better and by that time I can hear fire engines and paramedics getting there. And after that I kind of went blank, because once they rushed that car, I'm kind of out of it, right, yep. So, you know, 10, 15 minutes later go by Now, mind you Will just graduated from the Riverside County Sheriff's Department.

Speaker 1: 8:35

So we were going out to have some fun and spend some time together and kind of congratulate him. This was on May 31st of 2008. And I was going to have my oldest son now that his. He was born in July 25th, so only like two months later. So we were all kind of celebrating kind of life, you know, we haven't seen each other in a long time. All four of us are getting together, kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 8:59

So fast forward I'm. I'm giving my statement to the police officer uh, one of the police officers to kind of tell him what transpired and what I tried to do, or what have you. One of the other paramedics which, ironically, I went to high school with. His name was Brian. He comes up to me and goes hey, go tell the passengers family to come say their goodbyes, because, um, he only has maybe a couple more hours to live. Now, mind you, his family was in the high desert, so that's at least an hour and a half away.

Speaker 1: 9:18

Even back then, and so I don't know, I didn't have any idea how to get ahold of his family. I didn't. We couldn't find his phone. It's just, you know, this swamp with people around the car, yeah and and. But he did have a house, he owned his own house and he had two roommates, and so all I can think of is maybe get there. Hopefully the roommates are there and they can help me try to get ahold of his family. So I'm on, I'm on my way, check this out. So I'm on my way up in this. Mind you, this is in Riverside. I'm going up, alessandro. There's a, there's a medium and there's a medium on this street and there's three lanes on each side of the street. It's a very wide street. I've driven this thing at least a thousand times and as I'm speeding cause, clearly I'm trying to go get ahold of his family and I'm nervous and I don't know what to say.

Speaker 2: 10:02

My best friends yeah, adrenaline's high.

Speaker 1: 10:04

I end up, I end up, uh, I'm coming up to the very top of the, uh, very top of Alessandro and it's this really slight right hand bend. It's not very sharp. I mean you could do a hundred plus and you could still make the turn. And that's what I was doing a hundred plus. And I go to make the turn and at the very top of that hill is the communication center for Riverside PD for dispatch.

Speaker 1: 10:26

I, since my father is a retired LA County sheriff and I grew up with my father, I know exactly how their schedules work. So I could have been, I could have sold my soul knowing that light was going to be green at that time of night. And sure enough, that light was red and a police officer pulled out in front of me. Now it's obviously they had the right away. I'm speeding up the hill, the light's red, I'm going too fast to even do anything about it. The police officer didn't even notice I was coming, takes the green light red for me, turns left in front of me and I hit the back end of the car.

Speaker 2: 10:56

Oh.

Speaker 1: 10:57

Yeah, felony injury. They wrote me for felony hit and run. They were trying to get me on three strikes and, uh, and you know, when you hit a police officer, they're going to get you forever. They just don't, they're going to light you up, you know. Um, so, mind you, I already know my father's a police officer. So, um, so, at that moment, uh, they ended up, you know, arresting me and they take me down to riverside county hospital and uh, and to get checked, and what have you, and, sure enough, chris comes rolling in. And, mind you, on my way down to riverside county hospital, I had to drive back by the scene of the accident, my, the second, the first scene of the accident, not my accident, the first thing and how long was the time between all this?

Speaker 1: 11:42

uh, from the time of the first accident to the second accident, I would say it's probably 30 minutes, 40 minutes maybe. So when all that had happened with Will, I mean, it's hard to even remember. I know the steps, because I know how I have had to get back to where I was, but I don't remember how, like I don't really remember the motion. It's almost like I'm kind of on cloud nine. I'm just seeing light in essence of like how the night went. It's hard to feel the emotion of it Because I was so scared the whole time.

Speaker 1: 12:14

Well, the reason why I was speeding is not only to go tell his family, but I was looking down at my phone. This is like when Bluetooth actually was a thing. Back then it started getting big. I was able to Bluetooth my car and, and I was making, trying to make phone calls, looking down at like different numbers to try to call while I'm going to his house. That's one of the reasons why I missed, kind of all this stuff that was going on. So, anyways, they, uh, they take me down to Riverside community.

Speaker 1: 12:34

Um, chris comes by, mind you, he was the driver, he was okay. So he comes rolling by, but he's out at the time. Uh, and then here comes Will. They got him out and he's alive. Now, mind you, I didn't get to go tell his family to say their goodbyes. So the whole time now going back by the scene of the accident and going, all I can think about is he's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead. So, again, I wasn't worried about Chris, but I knew Will was bad. Well, will comes wheeling in.

Speaker 1: 12:59

About 45 minutes later, after I got to the hospital, they got him out of the car and he was alive and I, uh, and so thank goodness for that, right, um, but what had happened was is when I the the officer that I hit, which is what really helped me. The officer that I hit was a female officer. That was a, was one of my really good buddies, got married in September the year before. Really good buddies got married in september the year before and I was one of the groomsmen in his wedding and the, his wife's sister. I walked down the aisle, which was the female officer that I hit, and I had no idea what a coincidence, right.

Speaker 1: 13:36

So she writes a letter to the da and everything, and basically I, I was able to walk away from and if and if, I recall you had gotten a celebrity attorney.

Speaker 2: 13:45

Yeah, I went and got Lindsay Lohan's attorney to try, so you were prepared, though, knowing there was something worse going to happen.

Speaker 1: 13:51

Yeah now, mind you, I mean, this is an OA, I have no money, I'm losing everything. The only money I had left was go get this attorney. I'm trying to be able to be there to watch my son be born and, mind you, that was only two months later and it was so. It was just. You know, they say there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. You know, that night was definitely kind of an eyeopening biblical movement for me.

Speaker 1: 14:16

That really kind of changed my life for sure, which is why, kind of starting in the beginning of this, it was hard for me to really I started recently feeling that emotion because I'm trying to connect the dots as to my why. You know, I'm at that age now where I'm like, how did I get to where I'm at? Why, what could I have done better? And we always do that. But I'm just like really analyzing that nowadays, you know, and I'm really analyzing the people that I have around me. So that was a really, uh, life changing experience, as you can imagine uh, life-changing experience, as you can imagine so with that you, it was 2008, so how old were you then you're?

Speaker 1: 14:51

so in 08 I was, no, no, so in 08 I was. So I had shane when I was 24, so I was 20, 24 24.

Speaker 2: 14:55

Where were you at in your business?

Speaker 1: 14:58

but the market crashed and I literally was losing absolutely everything. So, my mortgage company I had a lot of very close friends with me at the time. Back then, man, you could just hire all your friends at a call center. You know you're doing pretty good, but, um, I, I was, I literally lost everything at that time. Uh, it's cause it really started in oh seven and that's when, uh, uh, shantae got pregnant my wife at the time and then, um, yeah, so she, she got pregnant, I think in November, and we had him in July, something of that nature.

Speaker 1: 15:22

So I was already losing everything in November. So now I'm going through this pregnancy trying to figure out a way I'm going to put food on the table. And my father raised me and my mom left when I was six months old. You know, my father's my best friend, as you know, besides you, and and uh, and so you know, being raised by a single father for so long and the my dad put off all kinds of things in his life remarrying to, you know, elevating in the sheriff's department because he had to be there for me and raise me and he had no help, you know, and he didn't have a lot of money for babysitting and where we lived at the time it wasn't really a place to find a babysitter.

Speaker 2: 15:54

Well, he was telling me yesterday that the one time he scheduled to try and take the sergeant's exam, you and Tiff would not leave him alone. And he's like, I asked for one time and it was my one opportunity and I couldn't even be left alone to study for this. So, no, I gave up everything and I was like Joe, you look at your son now. But I want to go back into that same era and talk about so I, I hear you, you know let's fast forward maybe three to four years from there. So this life-changing moment, you know we talk about where shane's going and all that. But I I want to bring in the aspect because I love hearing the story and I'm sure a lot of people would love to hear this too where you're in your dad's garage and, as you can see, I got dad gang on. I'm a proud dad of three. Um, I love hearing that you were working in the garage and Shane is on his power wheels oh yeah so let's talk about that and talk about how you.

Speaker 2: 17:01

You know you have all this now, but it never came easy for you.

Speaker 1: 17:04

No. So when all of that was going down at that time in 08, just financially, and then obviously that accident really shifted my entire life, I couldn't afford it really a roof over my head. So we actually moved in with my father in Riverside. Now, mind you, he was doing an addition on his own without bank finance, so he was trying to add on to both sides of the house. So my wife and I and the baby are literally living in a house that either didn't have air conditioning or, a lot of the time, didn't have heater. We had floor heaters because we didn't have the actual HVAC system installed. So he can only make so much money as a police officer and do an overtime and then he would work on the weekends or whatever to do the addition. And then he had guys there too, but it was.

Speaker 1: 17:49

It took like two years basically for him to do the addition. It would he my dad's the guy that he'll start something and really never finishes that room, you know. So it's one of those, but anyway. So we're sleeping kind of on the floor. We got windows in, so we have to put every single night, we have to put one of those sheets up, you know, and our mattress is on the floor. So we basically that's how we, you know kind of rode that wave.

Speaker 1: 18:15

And then my father and my wife at the time did not like each other no-transcript and so I was like, okay, give me, give me a little bit to figure this out. This is when hard money kind of really came out of it for me. So I just ironically had good relationships from the lending space, cause we did a lot of volume in 08. And I just ironically had good relationships from the lending space because we did a lot of volume in 08. And I just started reaching out to everybody and there was a couple of guys that I rubbed elbows with in Orange County that had a big fund at one point and did private money. And a quick story is that the guy sold I want to say it was called Seacrest Industries. It was a big. They didri systems and technology and software for basically every radiology department around the world in some cases. And so, uh, he ended up selling that company for some ridiculous amount 690 million dollars. So, uh, and then he ended up buying it back. It tanked in 08, right, so he, that way, he sold it before 08 anyways, uh, he ends up using his son was the was lending his money out in hard money. That's ultimately so, dad, rich dad, saying here, son, I'm giving you a business to run, lend my money out in hard money. In essence, take properties if you need to, right, just hard money loans. That's where you make your money, right.

Speaker 1: 19:53

So I really learned the game from that world family office guys that were very sophisticated, they were sharks, but they were very smart, um, and very educated. I mean Orange County guys that just knew how to make money. And so, anyway, so I reach out to one of my guys and I call him, and at the time I had bought a Chrysler 300. That's all I could afford, right, and this thing, it barely ran.

Speaker 1: 20:19

Man, it was just, you know, and I, I, he, the, his name was Dan my, it was my old mentor. He says, hey, if you can come into my office, um, come into my office sometime next week and let's talk, right. And so we set the time as, like, a Thursday, and I didn't have, I did. I had to borrow $20 from my father to get gas money. Bro, okay, it was just so embarrassing and demasculating, you know. So I, he's like, yeah, no problem. So he gives me 20 bucks, I literally put a hundred percent of that 20 bucks. I'm eating lunch sandwiches on the way to work, cause it's I had to make it at home. I didn't have any money for lunch, so I ended up getting there and we work a deal and he says hey, look, you know, you have what it takes to be great, and I've I've had big companies. I'm going to stay real small moving forward through this wave. I need one guy that I can rely on to do exactly what I tell him to do and let me mentor him. But if you don't, the minute you don't, you're out.

Speaker 1: 21:12

This guy was at a point in his life where he's like I don't really want to mentor any more people anymore. Like you know, if you want to learn the game, you're going to do everything I say Otherwise. Everything I say Otherwise, I'm just not going to. I don't have the energy for you. And he said it pretty much just like that. But I walked into his office and from my understanding, he was one of the guys that funded the first hundred million dollars for, I believe, the Irvine Spectrum. So he was knee deep in the world out there. So I follow his lead, I go under his wing and that's when we really started building our reputation and hard money. Well, at that time wing, and that's when we really started building our reputation and hard money.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Well, at that time, to go back about living at my father's house, I started making enough money to go, within a few months, go back to my father and say, hey, I have an exit strategy. In essence, I can get a house in Marietta, we'll move to Marietta and we'll. So we, we ended up moving to Marietta at that point. That's when I and now, if you think about it now, I'm having to focus on putting food on the table after we just lost everything. So now the fight every single month is real Cause we let, we still lived paycheck to paycheck for many months, many, many months, and uh, and that, and all I can do was focus on building more and more.

Speaker 1: 22:16

And as I continued to build and I was making more and more money, as more and more money went into my account, the more secure I felt and then the more I knew my wife could have money. So I got all the way down to where I was taking showers at the gym instead of at home, all the way down to. I would work more in the office for air conditioning instead of running the air conditioning at the house. It was cheaper to run the air conditioning at the office that the house, that kind of thing. So I I was forcing myself, due to financial hardship, to sit in the office just so I can stay cool during the summer.

Speaker 1: 22:47

But when I'm by myself at 10 o'clock at night, not tired yet, I had to figure out how to continue to grow my business because it's all I had to do and it was really kind of out of fear.

Speaker 1: 22:58

So that factor has rolled into my DNA all the way down to my insomnia that I was telling you about. I've had for 15 years, I still. I think last night I had a piece, but you know, I finally kind of figured out a rhythm, but I, for the longest time I go to bed at, you know, 10, 10, 30, and I'd be up by 12, 12, 30, could not sleep until 4, 4, 30. So you do, you know, and you're still only getting four hours of sleep, three hours of sleep. You know, you, you, it's hard, it's hard to get through two or three days of that. So imagine if it was every single day, you know, and then back problems and all the other issues, and then having to take your kids to school, and raising a family and try to grow your business and that that it was. It's been. It's been a hell of a fight to get to where we are now.

Speaker 2: 23:40

Yeah, so with um, you've had a lot of breaking points and I guess you know I want to talk on how, when you hit your emotional and physical breaking point, what are things that you do? Because I've seen you and I know it's hard for you to also open up and to be real with how you feel, because ultimately you know I hate to say it, but ultimately it is what it is You've now gone through another divorce, right? So, regardless with who's around you, I'm sure inside you feel that you don't have no one to talk to or you don't want anyone to look down on you and or your position at Paradigm paradigm, you have to be the strong leader. So what are some things that you you do to cope with them? And or how, how, for those that are listening, what are, what are some tips and tricks that you can give for people when they hit those breaking points?

Speaker 1: 24:45

move forward um, I think one thing that helps is kind of my faith. I. I just know that everything happens for a reason and you know that, saying two ears, one mouth, like I, I really do accept hardship and pain. You've seen me under pressure a lot and I somehow some way won't stop going. Um, so I'll give you the emotion I have when you just brought brought up my, you know, unfortunate divorce here, when I, I, my purpose for the last 11 years was for my family, right, so, like rebuilding, going through my first divorce, unfortunately, and I've had to kind of rebuild then, um that when you have so, you get to a point where the only way to keep going you can't really do it for yourself. You really don't. There's got to be a deeper root to fight this world, for you to keep going, whether it's your kids, your spouse, for love, whatever the case may be, and I think what I've, what I'm currently going through, is my purpose.

Speaker 1: 25:50

To build this company wasn't for me. It was because of the security I was receiving from my wife and how I felt as a man. Uh, putting food on the table for my kids. That's just straight. Um, yes, you, that's your responsibility, blah, blah, blah. But what did it do for my soul was I felt like my wife will value me more if I'm able to put more money on the table. And then for the unfair circumstances. I also know the negativity and what's crazy in this world. I would rather have a little bit more money than not. I've had no money for a long time. That's why I pushed myself to where we are today.

Speaker 1: 26:30

But that emotion of you know, when you lose your family, you really don't. You start questioning your purpose because for the longest time you're fighting you, you for 11 years you're fighting for something you think is forever. So there's a never give up kind of component to your character. Or you have to really figure out a way to find and sell yourself, and and the only way to do it is just to know that life will not stop throwing punches and shooting bullets. Man, it just never ends.

Speaker 1: 27:05

And and I think I am becoming a better person by accepting my hardships, and what I mean by that is, it allows me to create a better connection with the people that I love the most. It's allowing me to just accept the day-to-day with the people that are in my life, that I really trust are in it for the right reasons and it allows me to really connect with that Um, and I I think that's the hardest part about my life at the moment is like, what's my purpose? Right, and I I've had these conversations with you and Tiffany and people inside the company and they're like you have so much purpose, you have us, we love you, you are your family, you know, and that right there really is so uplifting and it really does have hope. And here's kind of my, my, my thought process was you know, I have so many clients that that trust us, you know, and that I made commitments to a long time ago. So, no matter what goes on in my life, I've made a commitment and I have to fall, pull through and I have to keep going and, to be honest with you, that's the only thing that makes me happy anymore and just to know that I can be a person of my word.

Speaker 1: 28:15

You know, the other side of it is is that it is my team and my family and I kind of look at it, as you know, from a biblical side, that hey, look, if I'm going to be the warrior that's got to take it to save my platoon, if you will, then I'll do that. So what's happening is is I'm living vicariously through you and your kids every day. When you call me on FaceTime with the kids or you guys post something about uncle Ryan, you guys come out here and spend time with me. Uh, I it's.

Speaker 1: 28:41

It's really kind of a priceless feeling because my kids now are older. So when I get a chance to see the younger kids and that and the craziness that goes along with it, which I don't miss, but in some ways I really do miss because it was the best time of my life. And what's cool is that when I have you guys in my life and I see all that, all of that, it it reminds me that I at one time had it and that it was so special and it was the best feeling in the world. And even as it was, hard as it was and scared about things financially, I would give up everything right now to go back to that. Um.

Speaker 1: 29:15

So, uh, sorry, dude, just oh, that's that's what this is about doggy um so you know, that's, that's my, my own, in essence, demons. But I, I think the, the way you have to, the way you have to frame it in your mind, is that you will get past this. And I've actually been through something similar in the past and I was able to find love again. And they say, hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it's a tree of life. You know, I always remember that and I've had, I have a lot of wonderful people that create that hope in my life. But I, I can tell that there's a different drive and fight in me. Now, if I'm going to, if I had to lose everything that mattered the most to me, then I'm going to build a billion dollar firm. Yep, that's just how I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2: 30:03

Well and I I see the way you operate. A lot of times it's for the good and you receive good from the people that you're trying to mentor, trying to elevate. But there is times where you I see it firsthand People take advantage of kindness and I really believe the reason why you are the person you are is because God placed you into this world because of all the trouble you've had to go through. You're there as a saving grace because ultimately, I know you don't like being alone, so therefore, the more you can surround yourself around others and if you can help elevate them, you feel a sense of peace because you're doing God's work. Through that and hopefully, most of the time you're going to get that same same feeling back from others.

Speaker 2: 31:01

I try my best all the time. You know the people in our company right now, I would say, are really good and it's, it's hard when you know I was on Rich's thing and he was talking about how you know, how you vet high network workers and all that. And it makes me think all the time our process of bringing people on, you have to be able to bring down the mass and the reason why we're having this type of podcast is because me and you both sat in your backyard smoking a cigar together, brainstorming how we can elevate to, yes, grow more generational wealth for our investors and future investors, but, at the end of the day, to have what you feel in your soul, to be able to connect with others because everyone goes through stuff and no one is perfect but at the end of the day, if you can share your battles between the others that are around you, it makes you feel better inside. We have people in our company that have lost children.

Speaker 2: 32:01

I've when I haven't lost what you know, when I first signed up I was two strikes and a felony pretty much on trial, shitting my pants.

Speaker 1: 32:13

But telling someone the other day saying, look, someone opened a door for me at that time in my life, tell the story when you called me, when you were going through.

Speaker 2: 32:22

Yeah, I literally.

Speaker 1: 32:23

Just, I don't even know if I hired you yet.

Speaker 2: 32:25

No, you didn't. So I think it was probably the second day of actually meeting you. I went in with the former employee of yours and I was training him at the time and, um you, I think you just needed someone to shoot some content and it was like a trial. And I remember it was like that second initiation of I went to I forgot the real estate guy, but he was speaking in Riverside Manny.

Speaker 1: 32:54

Soto, maybe Manny. Yeah, maybe Manny. It was like that Riverside mixer. Right, that's right, yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:58

And I think at that moment the vibes were great. Me and you were connecting and you know I did good, even though I look back at it now I'll probably add it in here. But I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, my, my video of holding the camera is way different from what it is now, but that's a part of elevating in life and I remember it was time for me, like you I think you had brought up saying like, hey, you know, let's you know what's your schedule, what, what can you do? And it mind you, there's no interview, by by the way. It was kind of like hey, bro come. And then, oh, are you free, can you come shoot? And so I did. And then I remember I called my mom and I was talking to Hannah and I was like I feel inside, like those butterflies that you feel meeting someone you love. It was that same feeling in a non-gay way.

Speaker 1: 33:48

I don't know you talk gay to me a lot.

Speaker 2: 33:57

Now it's gay for sure, but it was that same feeling of like I feel like I need to tell Ryan, regardless if I stay with him for six months or four years, like I am now, I need to tell Ryan what I'm going through.

Speaker 2: 34:04

So I had I was in the middle of my court trials and I had a court date and it was for September or something like that and I called him and I was like I just explained what was going on, I got into a stupid fight and, um, I'm being charged with this and I was like I don't know what's going to happen, but I just paid for an expensive lawyer and ultimately, I believe I'm not going to be convicted. But you never know. And I just want to let you know because if you need me on this date, I cannot come because I can't miss court. And I remember you pretty much just said you're like honestly, and you just paused, you're like you telling me that just showed me everything. And I believe that's what it takes to not only make this company a billion-dollar firm, but those are those actions that you expect from the people inside this firm to be so masked off and so vulnerable with our emotions and our decision-making so that way, our investors can trust us.

Speaker 1: 35:13

But this well-oiled machine that we're building can keep going you know I'm you nailed it as far as like how I responded to that, because I I continue to do that when people kind of bring down their mask and are just honest about that type of stuff, where to me I'm like, oh man, I guess put some hair on your chest, kind of thing. You know because I went through my thing right obviously before this, so I kind of know what you're going through mentally. But it made me feel like you respected this and you wanted more of a relationship here for business. That, uh, you're just, you're humbled, that's the best way to put it. You're just, you're humbled, that's the best way to put it. You're humbled, and I can see when someone's humbled. It's just the way life is, you know. You get kicked in, you can see people if they're humble or not and honestly, I appreciate it, because the sooner you just pull your mask off, then you're just going to mold with the right people with the same thing. So you might as well just do it now.

Speaker 1: 36:10

You know, but my philosophy has shifted, obviously, over time. As you know, having a company and employees and what have you and what I've it's that concept is just kind of keep your mask off from the beginning and see how this goes, because people don't like you. They like you, doesn't matter, you know, if you might as well just take it off and try to be real and see if you can connect with other people, because I know how deep I run and I know how much meaning and what I'm willing to sacrifice to people I love. You know, are those people the same way? And really the crazy thing is that they are all the same way in their personal lives, but their friends, their family, their kids, their husband, spouses, what have you? Along with their, their extended family. And if you look at everybody individually, they all have big families. Kids, grandkids, they're actually like. If you look at everybody individually, they all have big families. Kids, grandkids, they're actually like. If you look at each person, they're kind of like the, the, the rocks of their family, including you. I call you the 1% of your family and you are and we don't need to talk about it now but you're definitely the 1% and and uh, I think where I have gone and where I think why the company is where it's at, is because I don't hide anything from my employees.

Speaker 1: 37:11

I, you know, we are not a standard corporate structured company. We all have titles, but it's more like everyone's hands on help each other no matter what. Get it done. That's our mission. We do it no matter what. But I think what's allowed us to create that culture is that we've hired those same people that are all the same. They're very relationship based. They, you know when someone doesn't like something about them, that we take it really hard we don't like. When people don't like us, you know, or say something mean. You know everyone's hearts are in it. Everyone's been through a lot prior to coming over here. They've all been burned by some other company or lost friends or whatever. We've all been burned by some other company or lost friends or whatever. We've all. You know everyone's had taken a lot of hits, you know.

Speaker 1: 37:52

And so I think what's happened is I've been able to just kind of over, be kind in some ways, but also try to show that I'm stern and others kind of. You know that there is kind of hierarchy at some level here. We got to stay professional. But but you know, what I've, what I'm seeing is is that everybody is really allowing themselves to settle in and and we don't have turnover in the company. So it's been a while and and everyone's done very well, and that's where I can feel the heartbeat of the company's getting stronger and stronger because everyone's jiving and doing really well, and I think that's what has has created the momentum that we have at the company.

Speaker 1: 38:31

It's massed down all heart. Everyone needs to help each other. We all have problems in our personal lives. We're here to support each other, not judging Everyone's friends with husbands and wives and spouses, and it's the best thing I've ever had. So I think that's why I count my blessings on what I've gone through, because it's making me the man that I am today. And I know I can be better, but my, my life is X, y and Z, and even though I've gone I'm going through a lot now and have been through a lot I still have a lot of hope. So therefore, like mentioning and I'll sum it up with this, you know, to be able to go into a mindset of peace and knowing my direction and just kind of allowing the Lord to take the reins in essence. Hey, jesus, take those this wheel, please. You know that's, that's what I'm doing, you know, and it's been. It's been the best feeling in the world to settle and just know that there's actually a bigger plan than what I can try to put in place.

Speaker 2: 39:26

Yep, I would say, for where you're at. How has being a dad right and I and your past relationship you you were a stepdad also right. So your decision-making and sacrifices. We can end this segment in a way with how sacrifices in your family touched on it earlier, but I want others to understand how deep rooted some sacrifices are. You know, like you said, you sacrifice and your purpose was to build everything for your family, and now you have a purpose still. But there's certain sacrifices in life being away from your kids, decision-making in the company, being able to budget certain things like we're not flying first class. You know those type of things. How do you mitigate that in your head, no matter if we're a billion dollar firm or you're back in 08 budget?

Speaker 1: 40:32

I think I I really struggled with this because one of the things that I probably regret the most, but I knew I I don't regret the decisions I've had to make. What I regret is not experiencing it or being there like I should have been with, like Shane, in baseball Now, I coached his baseball team when he was four or five, six, seven, eight, you know. But when things got older you kind of need it starts to get real. So really, once he turned about 11, 12, 13, I was old, gone a lot, but that was also a pandemic hit, you know. So I was kind of in scramble mode. We moved our headquarters to nashville. I was very distant.

Speaker 1: 41:08

Um, that was another fear, you know, based decision, I think, by far calculated, but it was my, my uh decision to act quickly that kept us alive ultimately. And so, moving to nashville, I knew I had to do it, you know. So it was calculated, but again, that fear that runs through my DNA was going to get me to be proactive. So I would say that was the number one starting piece of the sacrifice of what I've had to do with my family, because when we moved to our headquarters in Nashville the idea was to move the whole family to Nashville and that didn't happen. So now we're in two separate homes and that was kind of the beginning of the level of sacrifice I really now had to start feel, because the normalness of going home, the same bed, you know, having my kids eating dinners, lunch, breakfast, I mean just like your standard daily routine, is now completely changed.

Speaker 2: 42:07

Now I'm by myself, without my kids and a place I've never lived in before in an area I don't know you know so and trying to build the business. And, mind you, for those that are new to following Ryan and understanding, watching it firsthand, it was. It was honestly painful inside because, honestly, it was honestly painful inside because, honestly, I had no say other than like, yeah, I could be that voice of reason for you, or that ear to listen, but ultimately, anything you did was at risk of losing your family or separating from them fully Because, again, as a business owner, you're making decisions and if you're in the private equity world, you're so pregnant in Havasu, you got a new apartment in Nashville, so you made these decisions that you can't just pull back on.

Speaker 1: 42:56

Well, it's even deeper than that. I have investors that are relying on me to make decisions, and what am I supposed to do? I mean, I think biblically and everybody would say choose your family over that. But the ones that have invested with me a lot of money, they're not going to want to hear me say that, especially when it's your IRAs or 401ks, and this is all you got.

Speaker 2: 43:17

Yeah, they worked their whole lives for it.

Speaker 1: 43:19

So yeah, and mind you, as we talked about these, some of these people have had cancer, my loved people I've talked about this a million times where I had one of an investor's daughter died on the operating table at the age of nine from a third open heart surgery, and her, the parents, which was our main investors, and then you know the um, the grandparents all basically sold everything they had and liquidated everything they had to keep the daughter alive and when she passed away, the life insurance payout was all the money they received and then they made the investment with that life insurance payout. I didn't know this until a year later. So when I talk about a connection to your family, I can sit around and go oh, poor me. Or do you know what people have had to sacrifice to make the money that they saved to now trust me to invest? You don't? You just have to figure out what's the best thing to do overall and when I I ultimately had to this, this really hard decision to make, because I also didn't get the support, because it was supposed to everyone's supposed to go to to nashville and then nobody did right, so I was kind of left hanging there and therefore all of the stuff.

Speaker 1: 44:24

I had to keep going, no matter what was going on. I had to keep, you know, putting foot on the table for everybody. I had to keep trying to navigate the waters of the pandemic. I had to move into a place, right the whole thing, and so it was very difficult, but I had to figure out a way to dig down and fight, even knowing that, you know, my purpose again is being lost. So that feeling of losing your purpose, for I've I've had just probably too many feelings of that too many times in my life, of feeling that broken, broken, and I'm only, as you know, we only got, we're only 50 minutes in. I can, we, I have way more stories, right. So you know, it's just. You know, now I'm at a point where my purpose I'm seeing is like the people that I love that are around me. That's why, you know, we joke and say everyone calls me daddy at the company, but I act like a dad because I care about everybody, so damn much Am I calling him. Well, how, what's going on? Today I saw that you're off. I can tell you're a little sensitive about something. What can I do? I'm like, literally that guy that just stays connected to everybody, yep. So that again, that's what's keeping the bond. But what? But again, everyone has what.

Speaker 1: 45:25

What happened is and this is where I saw the shift when I have been strong for so many, for so long everyone's had their lives, and even though I was really good at putting on the mask and my team didn't see what I went through and that we still had a mission to accomplish, um, that I was still breaking. And when I finally broke, I think what I've done is I was able to earn the love and respect from my team and they were like, okay, it's time to show up for him, when he's been showing up for us, exactly. And and that was that was a life and this was recent. So that's where I started really seeing the difference in this company and the shift in it. And then, obviously, jp Morgan and all these things are starting to come alive that we've been working really hard towards. And again it's now it's like, well, okay, well, hold on, let's feel this energy, let's stay hooked to it. And now I'm addicted to that feeling of where we can grow. So, again, if my purpose is shifted, that's fine, but fall in love with that new purpose and keep going.

Speaker 1: 46:26

So, to answer your question more directly, the probably the hardest part is my kids, you know, because, regardless of what happens between me and any woman, my kids are forever and I think the best thing that I have done and I know a lot of people won't agree with this, but I'm just being honest with I know too much the same. I've been talking about how you know, uh, an institution. I tracked a 900 million dollar purchase for porn hub. I know who's who bought porn hub and has four federal indictments and it just I know that, that. I know I know too much about money and how things move and work and so it really is the root to all evil, right, and so when I know how the world works, I, I literally fear for my kids. We just talked about that in lunch in the car. Yep, it's almost like I not only do we fear bringing a child into this world, but it's almost like not right to now we know we can go into, like we need kids and all that stuff. It's almost not right. This world is getting so bad that the only purity they have is when they're young. After they get older, man, they're getting I mean, they're going to get their asses kicked. Now I want then.

Speaker 1: 47:31

So I think what I've done right is that I have shown my kids that there is this hey, dad's going to sacrifice but he's going to do something great. And then when, when you're there, it's quality time and then but I can get you where you want to go your dreams I will actually get to come true. I have the resources, I have the ability, I also have the skill set and the relationships and the network you know, and we're in the right locations, we're in the right industries within the world and the way the world sees us. We I have positioned ourselves. This is chess, not checkers, and even though I'm very in tuned with my spiritual side, render to Caesar, which is Caesar's man. This is the way this world goes.

Speaker 1: 48:11

So it's really my opinion about just continuing to work really hard, build something that's valuable, that helps a lot of people and therefore the money will follow income wise. But the biggest shifting point, I think, for me was again going back to that purpose, and I think the company has purpose. We have a mission, we're seeing lives change and that's what's making everybody believe even more. You know, and I tell people all the time I actually know I haven't told I've told one person just recently, but I've wanted to tell more people is that the one thing I'm actually proud of, joe, is that I am finally seeing how many people I help. I believe in my ability to guide, I believe that I can add value to people's lives because if they just follow it, they'll do fine, or whatever the situation is, and I haven't been wrong.

Speaker 1: 49:03

And so I think like that is a big shift in my mind too, because I don't think a lot of people really believe in themselves deep down. But if you could start looking at it from the perspective of like, yeah, I actually really help people and they're telling me it's not like I'm just making it up and I think I'm being arrogant, but when they tell you you've helped me so much, there's probably no better reward than that. And I was just telling Ashley the other day. I said you know, there's nothing, there's no better gift in this world than someone believing in you. That's the best gift you can give anybody to say I believe in you and then and then do everything they can to help you. Um, and that's what I think everyone's starting to feel from me.

Speaker 1: 49:46

But again, I couldn't get to this mindset without being broken now, before three, four times prior to that, um I? That's why I really enjoy being humbled. I know it sounds weird, but just to be able to sit back and force yourself to breathe, drown out the noise a little bit. Sit back recalibrate, think about what's going on, be proactive, stay focused. Do not be angry, right, just control your mind, and I will say that's something I know how to do. You know I've done very well there. I think controlling my mind has been a real hard thing to do, but I think that's one thing I can do.

Speaker 2: 50:28

Yeah, I think for a lot of people hearing that come from you, it will build and gain more trust, because this is a relationship business.

Speaker 1: 50:39

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 50:39

Regardless of what anyone thinks, I don't care what family office or what check writer is who? If you're not showing your mask down, they're not going to write that check. And I believe this type of segment is what me and you both have been wanting to share and open up to others, to gain that trust in those individuals, because a lot of times people fail to realize where they come from and, like you said, they need to be humble at times and sometimes I forget and I need to be re humbled by you did this last week.

Speaker 2: 51:16

You know that was hard and it's hard for me. Yeah, you know it's really hard. Having hard conversations is not easy, but it's it's necessary.

Speaker 1: 51:26

It's hard for me it's really hard. Having hard conversations is not easy, but it's necessary. It takes maturity to just open up. They say gay marriage is between a man and a man. It's like 75%. They don't write, I think. Heterosexually it's like 50-50, divorce rate and then married women is like a 75% divorce rate. It's something like that where married men actually can last longer in marriages. That's why we do so well in our friendship.

Speaker 2: 51:49

I see it. I see it, we might as well just go get married. So that way we might as well man for you to enter some benefits tax benefits, maybe I don't know something about Chuck and Chuck and Larry, whatever that maybe is but yeah, I think I think we covered a lot of ground and for those that are listening they probably will really appreciate it. There's a lot of people that love hearing us joke around on social media.

Speaker 1: 52:13

I I think that gains more attractive attraction than anything make fun of each other, but uh, it allows people to connect and feel more emotion here's the takeaway I think from today is the fact that I have had to get tired of trying to keep that mask on. I've been beat down, I'm exhausted and I am humbled enough to say I just don't have the energy to keep fighting for the world to see me a specific way. Now you still do things for algorithms and Instagram, but when people get to know me, I think it's important they know that this is the raw. I would want to encourage people that are listening to this to stay there.

Speaker 1: 52:56

I haven't talked on this podcast, but I reconnected with my mother in 2017. So I talked about earlier how my father raised me so that'll be another segment and how I changed my life and how hard that was to forgive and show my kids the forgiveness that was necessary and that was very humbling for me, but now totally worth it because I have a great relationship with my mom and, in fact, was the purpose and the design and the founding kind of idea was building the barn caves, and the design, the idea behind the barn caves was because of my connection and reconnection to my mother, so we'll talk about that in the next one. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 53:37

That's why we made a documentary. Mind you, my first one. Go go hit the link to go watch that, for sure. But that is a. There's so many. We can go on so many, so many different stories and rabbit holes of your life. Because it will relate to other people.

Speaker 1: 53:53

Yeah, for sure so, again, takeaway is mask down, be humble, try to pick, pick and choose wisely who to invest your love and time into. That's probably the hardest thing. But, you know, continue to give because one day you will receive. It's okay to love, it's okay to try, it's just can't stop trying. But just harden up in a way where, like, if the relationship doesn't work out whether it's friends, whatever business relationship just walk away in peace, be peaceful. It does not. Life is already tough enough. I would say.

Speaker 1: 54:22

That's one and then two you know, using you know some of my hardships as maybe a connection point for people to know what it's like to have. You know, feel like they don't have a purpose and that you, your purpose, purpose can shift. And sometimes, when you're smarter, older and have been through enough, you, you have a deeper connection now to that purpose. You feel it, you want it. Older and have been through enough, you have a deeper connection now to that purpose. You feel it, you want it, your dedication to it, your discipline, your, you know changes when you feel and you're connected to your purpose. So that would be the takeaway for today. So we'll leave some of the other stuff for later, but I really appreciate you dragging this out of me because I didn't think this is where I had an idea. And you kind of have that smirk before you get on and you kind of dance funny and I know you got something on your mind, but uh, no, I really appreciate the this.

Speaker 2: 55:07

This was, this was, this was great yes, uh, well, let's so wrap it up with just uh ending and then, um, maybe do like just call to action. If you guys want to learn more, make sure to check out the other podcast.

Speaker 1: 55:21

All right, so all right. So I'm going to say thanks, joe. Okay, guys, so I really appreciate it, joe, thank you very much for for for being here, buddy, as always, and thanks for dragging it out of me. That that was cool. I really appreciate it. Love you, buddy. All right, everybody, go ahead. The rest of my story, but the podcast series as well. We're talking a lot more about business and every once in a while I'll kind of get more personal. I'm hoping I can connect to you. If anybody felt that this was fruitful, please just comment. I'd love to get your insight on it. If you had anything that was similar to what I've gone through, share it. I know sometimes talking about it makes things a little bit easier, but know that you know somebody who's shared those feelings and